Communication?? What is that?

I would like to say that probably 98% of people are guilty of NOT communicating. If you haven’t heard, rumors are…communication is key-TO EVERTHING. Communicating in bed will make sex so much better, I promise!

Everyone has been in that situation when you want to say something to your partner about whatever they are doing in bed but for whatever reason, you don’t say it. The last thing we want to do is kill the mood so we stay quiet. We don’t want to embarrass anyone or make anyone look stupid. So we stay quiet. There are lots of reasons to stay quiet, but alas, I’m telling you now, NEVER stay quiet!

Top reasons for having to speak up…

1: If you are in any uncomfortable position or even feeling pain during sex, speak up! For ladies especially, even though he looks like he’s having a grand ‘ol time, he’ll never know you were uncomfortable or feeling pain unless you say something. Faking the moan will never get you YOURS. (Guys, ladies really do this, pay attention.)

2: Let’s say your partner has gone down on you and is very clearly NOT doing it well or doing it how you want…say something! They’ll be down there forever without a clue and you’ll never get yours.

3. There is a position or thing that they can do that you love that you know will get you yours but they are just not doing it…speak up!

4. If you’re feeling good and they are doing everything right- you better speak up and let them know! (Nothing feels better than pleasing your partner just the way they like and hearing it!)

And of course there are plenty more but those are the general points that I’d like to touch on.

Being naked and intimate with someone can make both parties feel very vulnerable and everyone wants sex to go smoothly without any complications, well unfortunately, not everyone knows exactly how to please you to your exact liking, so you must communicate what you want.

I know no one wants to get told how to have sex. I get it. But, if you just put your sexual ego away for 2 seconds, you might learn something new and be a better sex partner. To ever think that you know all the tricks in the book will only weaken your sex game, big time. Every man and woman has different things they like and to approach every partner with the same tricks shows that you have not really opened up your sexuality to learn and grow to have great sex. So take the tips from your partner, don’t let it embarrass you, do it how they like and see how much quicker you’ll get them off.

And if you’re new to the game, if you’re not confident in eating a woman’s vagina or giving a guy head, then ASK questions! Does this feel good? Show me how you like it. Let me know when it feels good. Ask, find out and learn!

All my posts will probably be touching on some form of communication, just like my posts so far already have. But I just want to throw it out there that it is perfectly normal to tell someone how you like it and how you want it done. For those on the receiving end, let them know what you want, in any way you can (nicely, of course). Those of you on the giving side, be open-minded and don’t let your ego get in the way, you’d be surprised at the new things you could learn!

Ladies and Gentleman, relax, it’s just sex, so get YOURS!

faking the orgasm...

I think this is vital for the ladies, so listen up!

NEVER, EVER, EVERRRR FAKE AN ORGASM!!! EVER! And here are the reasons why...

1. Most importantly...You never get yours.

2. You make him think he did a good job, when in reality, he didn't.

3. He'll continually do the same moves that he "thought" made you orgasm, which will suck for you.

4. If he ever finds out...his sexual ego will be really hurt.

We all like to think we're good in bed and that we're bringing new moves to the table. Most of the time, that isn't true. But regardless, good sex consists of both parties having fabulous orgasms. Now if someone (man or woman) fakes an orgasm, the other party will think they are doing something right and hold on to that “right” move and take pride in it. If after that they find out that you faked an orgasm, they would be pissed but mostly, their sexual ego would be hurt. No one wants their sexual ego hurt.

Now some of you may think, "Well I wanted to get it over with because it wasn't good and I wanted to stop." Totally fine, that happens. In that case, just stop. Get up, put your pants on and leave it at that. Because no matter which way you decide to handle the bad sex, you're going to hurt their sexual ego, but the worst of all scenarios is faking the orgasm. And no matter which route you choose, you still never get yours.

By not faking the orgasm, you show that person that what they are doing isn’t working. We all want to reach our sexual potential and when we get “fake” feedback, it doesn’t help our much-wanted skills. And although you may never have sex with that person again, they will go on to continue those unsuccessful skills to the next person and eventually they will learn the hard way that what they’ve been doing this entire time hasn’t been working. We all want to learn the right, successful ways of making the best orgasm happen and it’s up to everyone to help in that process by saying NO to fake orgasms!

A little side note for the ladies- when a man is going down on you, and it’s not working, you need to speak up and tell him what you want, they’re not mind readers. (I will post about communication in bed.) Don’t fake the moan either, they play off that. If after a long period of time you just don’t think it’s going to happen, let him know so he can stop because lots of men will stay down there until they get you off and if for whatever reason at that moment you know you can’t get off, it’s only fair to let him know and you guys can continue doing something else.

A little side not for the men- not every woman is the same but generally, we do have the same pleasure spots. If you notice that we aren’t giving good feedback or are laying stagnant, also speak up and ask what you can do to make it better. Switch it up a bit and try new things, when it feels really good, you’ll be able to sense the realness in our reaction. ;)

Now with that being said, no one turns pro overnight. It does take time, but if all orgasms are good and true, one can only get better from there. I am against fake orgasms because they condone bad sexual habits and I want to get MINE. So don’t fake the funk.

And ladies and gentleman, relax, it’s just sex.

When to PROPERLY insert your penis...

Many of you are reading the title thinking, what a dumb topic. It's common sense when a guy should insert his penis. Well if it were that common, guys wouldn't be doing it, yet I hear so many women complain about how guys just don't have the patience to get a girl wet enough to have really good sex.

Men: We all know you get hard in .2 seconds and are ready to go in a blink of an eye, but if you truly want to have good sex and make it good for the woman as well, you need to have some patience and make sure you get her really wet. I mean really wet. Just because you can slip your finger in her vagina and you feel the moistness, doesn't mean that it's wet enough for your penis. As a friend once said, "I make sure there's a waterfall coming out of her vagina before I slip my penis in."

Keyword "slip". If your dick can slip in her vagina without the help of either of your hands, she's wet enough, doesn't matter how tight or loose she is. Seriously. If you need help getting it in, she needs help getting more wet.

You may ask, if she's even a little wet, what's the big deal, it might be a tighter squeeze but it's still good for me. Well it's not good for us women because after you thrusting away for so many minutes it starts to feel very uncomfortable and sometimes even hurt. Once we feel any kind of discomfort at all, we lose the ability to STAY wet, therefore we get "dry" and makes sex not fun for either of us by then.

Now at that point, let's say you keep going and thrust away, you will cause pain for us and some women just don't say anything for whatever reason, (I'll later post about communication in bed) and she wakes up the next morning feeling like someone ripped her vagina open. Yes, it's that painful and lasts for a few days. (You can literally tear her skin and it happens quite often due to this.)

SO GUYS- reiterating...please take the time out to get the woman wet. Some might take longer than others, but we all need it regardless. However you decide to do it, just get it done. Also, using lube or spit might work for the time being as you insert, but trust, nothing works like a woman's natural cum.

I love hearing feedback, please let me know what your take is on this topic! :)

And ladies and gentleman, relax. It's just sex...

Welcome to It's Just Sex

So through my years of being a young adult, I've come across lots of sexual conversations between men and women and of course, my own personal experiences. I've come to learn that there are lots of men and women in their late teens/early-mid twenties and even older that have no idea what sex is. Yes, they don't know what SEX is.

There is a huge difference between good sex and bad sex and through this blog, I hope to open up your minds and your sexuality. Many of you may think that you know what you're doing, but I guarantee you, you will realize you aren't as good as you think you are. Men, learn what women want and women, learn what men want! So keep up, read on and learn a few new things in bed...or on the couch...or in the car. ;)

And ladies and gentleman, loosen up. It's just sex.